The last thing you need while healing is a bad therapist.
My primary therapist (herein known as “Bad Therapist” or “BT”) and I DID NOT GET ALONG. He tried to make me dependent on him so he’d get more money, make me relive traumatic moments without telling me how to deal with them, and he even went so far as to tell me that I should drop out of school! I accomplished nothing with him. Each session was more hectic than therapeutic. I only saw him 5 times (after my last visit, he called me numerous times begging me to come back).
I would’ve completely written off all forms of therapy if it weren’t for my psychologist (herein known as “Good Therapist” or “GT”) at my university. She is my shield, my rock, and my idol. She is always there to listen to me and gave me the tools to thrive.
The difference between Good Therapist and Bad Therapist was comfort and empathy. With BT, I felt as if he were just waiting for our session to be over so he could go home and watch his creepy porcelain dolls or something. There was no connection, and there was no comfort whatsoever. GT, however, really made an effort at getting to know me. She would ask me about my day, compliment, and uplift me. She may not have experienced the trauma I experienced, but she knew exactly how to make me happy again.
BT would tell me, “A, you’re an good person. See you next week.”
GT would tell me, “A, you’re an amazing person because of A, B, and C. You should be happy because A, B, C, and D. If you’re having trouble getting through the day, just remember E, F, G. Don’t let what’s bothering you keep you from recognizing your true potential.”
Can you tell the difference?! GT taught me how to thrive. BT just chewed me up, spit me out, and expected me to pay him.
If you’re looking for a therapist, don’t just settle for the first one you find. You should really take the time to find someone you can connect with. Don’t knock therapy because you hate the therapist. 🙂