One shouldn’t dwell on negative memories or feelings for it is detrimental to his/her state of well-being. However, one shouldn’t censor his/her thoughts or feelings to the point of oblivion.
While trying to cope with my abuse (I’ve come far in the months past!), I would mentally beat myself up every time I thought of my abuser. I needed to forget about them completely-I figured that would be the only way I could heal.
I would censor my feelings, repress them; but they came back 10 times worse. I ended up feeling worse about slipping up once again and regressing than I did by reliving the memory in my mind.
I became a zombie. I would eat to suppress my memories and I would starve myself if I ever did reminisce about my dark past.
I eventually realized that I have every right to feel sad about what happened to me at times. I have every right to relive those painful days.
I will not, however, allow myself to wallow in self pity. Sure, self pity made me feel better momentarily-but it enabled me to dig a hole of anger and sadness.
Every time I think about my abuser, I’ll feel upset for awhile. After that, I’ll smile and go on with my day. I won’t allow this sadness to ruin me any longer.
I am no longer my own worst enemy.
Have a great day,